So this stigma exists, how do you deal with it?
Frankly I think it’s difficult to deal with the stigma because of the difficulty in understanding depression and what it does to people. If you’ve been deeply depressed then you know what it’s like. If not, well you don’t. I’ve written numerous blog entries dealing with depression, and yet I still feel like I haven’t described it sufficiently. Writing about depression feels like writing a book that will never be finished. Every time you reach what you think is the last page, the binding of the book stretches just a bit and you know there is more to be written. This is continous and mighty frustrating. How can you defeat something when you can’t even define it? Can you defeat it?
Perhaps the worst problem in fighting stigma against depression is one of definitions and symptoms. My definition of depression and experiences dealing with depression are going to be different than most other people. The words I use might strike a cord with some people who felt the same way, but others will just think it’s some whiny guy who needs to stop, well whining.
I think mental illnesses in general are something [some] people are suspicious of because they often don’t have any external signs [which makes it easy to not know who is suffering from these illnesses, and thus need treating]. Some people like to see material evidence when it comes to medicine and health issues. Even if they don’t see it, they like to know that someone somewhere in some laboratory can see the evidence. Even if the evidence is under a microscope they’ll never see which they probably wouldn’t understand, some people just like to know there’s evidence they can seek out if they so wish.
I myself fell into this category of being skeptical until I found myself depressed. I myself thought that depressed people were just these brittle wimpy folks who, already a moment away from crying anyway, just needed to toughen up a bit. Maybe play a sport rather than sit in the back of English class drawing or writing poetry. Now I realize how callous these types of thoughts are considering what I’ve been through, but to someone whose never been there the depressed person is probably just seen as a whiner who’s acting sad for attention.
*That’s the worst stigma. It’s an act for attention! You’re not really sad…you just want people to sympathize. Particularly for men to be depressed. The stigma I thought of a friend of mine in high school who in retrospect was probably depressed went like this: “ewww you’re sad. You’re just acting that way so the girls will think you’re sensitive type. Stop acting like that. You don’t feel that way, you’re just hamming it up in some scheme to get laid. Stop being a poser!” I think men facing depression deal with that issue, of depression being a fundamentally feminine trait because it shows weakness. For some men, well being feminine is wrong, not so much bad in itself but because being manly is right. Particularly jock types. I think alot of men learn their behavior as via physical activities like sports, and gain a distinct way of thinking about such things.
I think that alot of the hay that people who are skeptical of psychiatry and depression [such as scientologists] is founded in these principles of “it’s all in our mind”. Well of course it’s all in our mind! Since I can’t look into anyone else’s mind and see what they’re thinking, well I can’t be certain what they’re thinking. Of course you combat this by trusting people based on experience where they’ve told me something and it’s been true. In return these people [you call them friends, family, acquaintances, and medical professionals] will believe you when you tell them you’re suffering. Having people who believe and are supportive are important, oh so important to dealing with depression, because they are instrumental in giving you some positive energy, when you only want to sit in your cocoon of negativity.
At the end of the day some people will be skeptical of mental illness because they don’t have first hand experience or can’t see external evidence of mental illness, and thus will be skeptics [and that doesn't make them bad] who won’t understand your depression. I’ve found that it’s easier to just not mention depression around these sort of folks. It could just be a negative if they rip into you or question your sincerity, which is bad for all concerned, particularly [me] the depressed person. It might just send me on a downer, and the other guy, well screw him LOL. He’s the jerk you made me feel bad. [Edit: Some people are just butt heads who are meanies. Others are just clueless who don't know they're being mean because they don't know if they're hurting people. Again the issue of not being able to tell who is depressed externally plays into this. You may hurt a depressed person by saying something callous and not even know you're hurting someone.]
Personally I don’t want people to gain first hand experience of depression [cause it sorta...sucks] so I’ll just be content that they aren’t in a place I’ve been. Some people will believe you and sympathize, and these people [family, friends, and medical professionals] will be important by helping you deal with your depression. Support is key, and having people to just say, “I’m thinking of you” and “I know you’re suffering and hope you feel better..” well those people, I just can’t say how important it is to have people who take a minute and just send a little positive energy my way. You’ll never win over everybody, but you don’t need to. You only need to win over the important people. Close friends, family are key. Medical people are professionals trained in diagnosing mental health issues but friends and family are all important because of their position as long time parts of the depressed person’s life and because of the depressed person’s mutual love of the friends/family. Believe from them is instrumental in climbing out of depression.
Just a thought~