Semper Ama

[My manifesto concerning relationships.  Cheesy?  You decide.]

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What is a relationship?

It’s a connection between two people.  That is all.  And yet it’s not.  It’s an agreement to comfort and support each other, an agreement to help each other make the tough times bearable, the good times better, and good times bliss. It’s a mutual friendship, a unique and special thing that two people define themselves. It’s a secret everyone vaguely knows about but can only be understood by the two who are in on it. It’s a message of trust and respect written in a language of their own creation, a language of silly jokes, sad experiences, and moments everywhere in between that the two share together.

It’s a secret public friendship, bounded by an agreement of togetherness and understanding that each is special to the other.  A team, it doesn’t encompass the members totally, but simply augments their lives, adding to the quality of their existence. To each other the members should be the most staunch of allies, first on the scene to provide help, and yet also the last line of defense, ready to pick each other up should all other support systems fail. To each other the members act as confidant and friend, ready to help at all times, even if that help is not what the person things they need sometimes. 

It’s their thing, and only they truly know what it means. Any and all time they spend together is important if only because of with whom they spend it. It’s not measured by the amount of time they spend together or how, but how that time helps them both and that they cherish the moments shared together. Nor should it to be measured against other relationships, it simply exists.  To compare it to another relationship would not only be an insult to the relationship, but to all relationships.  Such a unique and beautiful thing should not be forced to face rivals, but should exist untainted by any bands to society as a whole.  It won’t of course, and will be trampled and tarnished and tattered by various bumblers, and thus must constantly be repaired, restored, and remade.

There should not be rituals such as set dates to meet, but simply an agreement that dates should be set and time spent together. There should not be quotas of time or money spent on each other, only agreements that quotas and money are silly compared to the unquantifiable energy that exists between the two. There should not be points scored or recorded, only an agreement that the game be played honestly and always with each other.

The future is not set, but together at any given moment the future does not matter between the people in a relationship.  Nor does the past.  Nor does anything except the person sitting two feet away.  Within that two feet are a thousand special moments, stretching back to the first time the two met.  Also within those two feet are a thousand more special moments, as yet not acted out but floating in the future, comforting the two. From the many moments, both in the past and the future come comfort, for the two have a future, and a past.  Both are filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, but they have been overcome together.  From that history comes strength.  The strength to endure and the reality that there is reason to endure.  Love of the other.

Within the relationship there should be fun and there should be laughter, both to drive away sadness and stress and simply, because.  Because the joy they bring each other should be a continuing refuge from the ravages of the world. There should be happiness and joy, there will be sorrow and tears, but they should be shared, enjoyed, and dealt with together. There should be comfort and compassion, both given and received, and there should be love. Always. Semper Ama.